Yesterday was a monumental day for two reasons. Parliament in the UK took a historic step towards embracing full equality for gay people when MPs voted overwhelmingly in favour of equal marriage. Now, as you all know, I’m not one to talk about controversial issues on here, (ahem!) so I’m not going to write screeds and screeds about whether or not gay people should have the same rights as everyone else on the planet, because in my opinion, there is no debate, it’s pretty straight forward. This little anecdote sums up my thoughts pretty accurately:
Yesterday was also a pretty monumental day for me personally. I don’t get sick very often but as I explained a while back, I haven’t been feeling like myself, I’ve been losing weight, lacking motivation, just overall feeling pretty down, so when I found a lump on my breast I had a bit of a panic. I saw a doctor on Tuesday and yesterday afternoon I had a mammogram and an echo test that found I have a cyst filled with fluid from a blocked mammary gland. Now, to say the past few days have been stressful is an understatement. Before the hospital appointment yesterday I found myself in a bit of a daze, sitting in the house wondering “what if I have breast cancer?”, walking to collect my daughter from school with headphones on but no music playing, picking out an outfit wondering if the outfit I had on would be the outfit I’d remember as the outfit I wore on the day that my world fell apart. Yes, I was worried for nothing, and maybe overreacting to a routine procedure but I honestly didn’t know, because I haven’t been in this position before.
You NEVER think it will happen to you, right? Until it does. It’s happening to more and more people, people close to you, loved ones, friends. My wonderful friend Laura Boyd was diagnosed with leukaemia in 2009 and has been fighting the disease head-on ever since. Now, I won’t say I know what Laura is going through, I don’t, I haven’t walked a millisecond in her shoes, but as a 32 year old woman, faced with something that could change or alter your future, something you have no control over, you start to think about the things you hold dear and if they will be taken from you, if you will ever have the chance to do all the things in life you dream of, and I’m sure Laura thinks about these things daily. Laura is a remarkable individual who is fighting this disease ferociously…and helping others along the way. I have so much respect and admiration for her, as do a lot of people, I know Laura is living her life to the fullest right now, showbizzing it up…but she also makes no secret that she has the odd off day, (check out her blog videos, they are so honest and sincere) and in those days I can only imagine what thoughts go through her mind. Nonetheless, she is a fighter and will beat this, just like she has been doing thus far.
My experience and Laura’s are no different to anyone else out there, cancer affects everyone.
We don’t even like to use the word cancer, it’s a taboo subject isn’t it? I didn’t tell anyone what I was going through, besides Mark (who only marginally freaked out but has been so good for the past few days) and my sister (and even at that I didn’t tell her until the night before my test) because I didn’t want to bring them down, ruin their day, crush my mums world. Thankfully, I didn’t have to but this experience has reminded me that life is so precious and we have to appreciate every moment we have together. It also reminded me that it is so important to get checked out if you aren’t quite feeling yourself, as only you know your own body.
So, after the monumental day yesterday, in the name of moving forward and making progress, I’m going to start learning French, properly! I’m going to stop feeling sorry for myself and get motivated (She says as she sits in her PJ’s at 2pm) and I’m going to try and meet new people here in Lyon.
Wish me luck!